What a day

I was at the other house on Sunday doing some clean up and finally just gave up. I felt like it was a complete waste of my time. I finished power washing the drive way and then swept off the patio into the yard so the leaves and pecans could be mowed up. I wound up the hose and put the lawn bags inside the carport. I went and stood at the back of the house, stared at all the stuff piled in the shed and shook my head. It was like time stood still out there. The decks of Four Queens playing cards were still scattered on the gray shelf next to the score pad. Cigarette butts littered the floor and the counter tops. Craft projects from Michaels spilled out from the cupboards and drawers. They were purchased with good intentions but came to rest, forgotten in their plastic bags, tucked inside and stacked up with the other craft project items. The wood burning stuff, the calligraphy set, the markers, the magazines, bars of soap. I thought about what was mine out there and realized nothing was mine. The only things I know I left are my cordless screwdriver, Fry Daddy and my bike; I found a bungee and took my bike home. I scanned the sheds again and realized that if I haven't wanted or needed any of this stuff for over a year, there's no point in taking it now. Correction - I want my screwdriver and Fry Daddy. In my world there's always stuff to tighten and fry. I picked up JT from the sitters and drove home in silence. I hardly listen to the radio any more. I prefer the sound of my thoughts tapping in my head instead. I thought about getting home and doing some work on my home. Picking up the soda can/spit can from the side of the house that I threw a week or two ago, pulling the garbage can back up to the house, pushing the piece of metal back up where it goes, throwing out the items that never sold at the garage sale, reconsidering the high chair that sits outside, watering the plants and playing with the dogs. It's been a day and I already can't remember if I relaxed first and then went out to work but I don't think I did. Kevin got ready to go weed eat the side of the house and the Johnson grass out back. I took the munchkin and walked down for the garbage can and then pulled a blanket out and set JT down in the middle of the yard. He wasn't dry but for about 2 minutes when all 4 dogs came over to give him a kiss. There was fighting over the golf ball and the soft ball, there was stupidity over letting go of said balls and then there was Winston tearing around the yard, bumping into the 140 pound dog and growling at him, all the while making JT laugh. I cleaned up the broken pot in front of the steps and pulled the dried roots out from the miscellaneous pots around the front. I threw away the wrappers from the fourth of July, I picked up boards and found a snake. I managed a wimpy scream and then leaned in closer to look at it. My attention soon moved to the stupid gold statue that had been perched on the porch since who knows how long. I only recently discovered that he doesn't like it either, it was left here by a former roommate or given to him or something but neither one of us care for it. I've bruised myself on it more than I'd like to remember so I hollered around the corner of the house, "can I finally throw this gold deer, antelope, gnu thing away?" I held it poised over the open garbage can waiting for the okay. Discarded at last! I brought out some more toys for the boy and he and the cat sat next to each other watching our little piece of the world go by. I started pulling weeds out of the flower bed and wound up the house and finally sat down on the blanket and watched my husband wack the weeds. And untangle the weed wacker. And wack some more. It felt a little surreal, sitting with my baby amid all the animals while my husband did his husband-y things. I leaned back a little and planted a kiss on JT's head and when he looked up at me I said, "I love you guys." Inside, I stood next to the stove drying my hands and watched as Kevin started the sauce for the Baked Ziti. He was washing his hands when he said, "it was nice watching you out there weeding the flowers, and seeing JT out there on the blanket with all the animals. That's what I imagined when I first moved out here. It's not quite deja vous but it's close" So does that mean I'm sort of like a dream come true?