2 years

Tomorrow is the anniversary. It is the anniversary of a car accident that brings me to my knees every so often. Most times it's done in the privacy of my car, some times it's done at work as I stand in the bathroom. And sometimes it makes me cry so hard I throw up. 12-5-05 I took my lunch break from work as usual. I ran a few errands on the south end of town and I stopped by the gas station on my way back. I pulled out of the gas station, entered the intersection and the next thing I know I am spinning and I've stopped facing the wrong direction. I was 5 months pregnant with JT. It took me a few seconds to realize what had happened. It took a few more seconds for full blown anxiety to kick in. I spilled my coffee, peed my pants or my water broke. Or all of the above. I couldn't get my door open. I couldn't figure out how to get my seat belt off. Then I saw the lady in the street screaming and pointing. I couldn't hear anything except for my own heart beat. I looked to my right and saw someone on the ground. Face down, leg up on the embankment, shoe off, blood trickling off the head. Dead. Happy Fucking Anniversary. ************ Sorry for the language. I know a couple of you are going to suck in your breath when you see the F bomb plastered there. It's just....it's just....that's how horrible I feel some times. And truth be told, that's as much as I'm going to say on here about that.