Ahhh..it feels good to write again

It's 10:30 on Friday night and I haven't touched my writing since Monday during my lunch. I'm going to try to be brief in the weeks happenings, or at the very least be brief about what I choose to talk about. The big thing was our anniversary on Monday. A joyous occasion. Or at least it should be. I guess in keeping with the crappy Mother's Day and the not-so-great birthday, it should only be fitting that our anniversary would fall along the same lines. And to my horror I wasn't surprised when it turned out as such. My work day ends at 7 and my commute home is about 30 minutes. A nice time to unwind as I drive out of the city and leave the bustle behind. So cliche, but it's true. There's a certain spot on the highway where everything becomes a blur and the next thing I know I'm making the turn into the driveway. 7:30pm "Here." That was my greeting upon opening door. JT was now "here" in my arms and Kevin mumbled his way out the living room and went to the bedroom for a breather. JT was pulling his afternoon screaming concert and had about put his dad in hysterics. 9:30pm Kevin wakes up from his nap, returns to the living room to find JT still nursing. No surprise there. Kevin begins to cook our steak and potatoes. JT begins to scream again after I mistakenly assumed he was asleep. What's the phrase? Yep...you know the one. 10:00pm Both of us are grumpy, not saying a thing and sitting silently on the couch. JT is eating me and Kevin is eating his steak. I'm not sure who's got the better deal here. 10:30pm I give up and retire to the bedroom to nurse him on the bed. 10:40pm He's out. All the crying must have done him in and he's sleeping like a log. 10:45pm I don't trust this kid. The minute I move he's going to wake up. I'll just wait a few more minutes and then go. 10:50pm I'm in the kitchen re-heating my steak and potato. 10:55pm In the living room, settled in to eat my warmed up anniversary dinner. 10:57pm Screaming Part Four thousand six hundred and twenty two. I glare at the baby monitor as I watch the lights dance up to red. If you have a monitor you know this indicates a scream capable of shattering glass. 11:10pm I've choked down part of my dinner. I'd lost my appetite when the monitor lit up. 11:11pm I treated Kevin to a foot rub until 11:30 at which point I said, "You know where you can find me. happy anniversary" and went to bed. The rest of the week went surprisingly well. I think the boys are falling into a great routine and they just need to learn how to survive each other from 5:30-7:30 until I get home. I might get tired of staring at the same person all day, too, if I was a baby. I don't know what JT thinks. What I do know is that Kevin tapes a little bit of my boy each day. It's a cute little 3 or 5 minute snippet of JT doing JT things. Like laying on the play mat. Or laying on his tummy on the play mat. Or looking in his mirror AND laying on his play mat. Or watching the aquarium thingee spin in front of him. Either way, it's adorable. Today I cried for the first time at work. Correction - I cried about JT for the first time at work (since he's been born..I cried plenty when I was pregnant). Kevin had called to tell me that the day was going well and JT had squirmed from a North to South position on the mat today. I heard him cooing in the background and Kevin said, "say hi to your momma" and I heard the cutest little voice saying who knows what to me as I pictured him laying in his dad's arm and looking up at the phone. The dam burst. I missed my baby. It's getting tough. Figuring out a schedule not only for JT but for Kevin and I is a tricky thing. I get now why making a marriage work with a child is so difficult. The baby takes up so much time. I resent not having a 10 hour day. At least I consider it a 10 hour day...Kevin is on baby duty from when I leave for work until I get home. Some days I feel like I'm in this 'job' for 24 hours a day. I'm the feeder in the middle of the night. I get him up in the morning so I can spend a few hours with him. I rush to get myself ready for the day. I bust my ass at work for 9 hours and then get home to spend another couple hours feeding him to get him to go to sleep. It's safe to say my favorite time of the day is still early morning when JT first wakes up and chatters about nothing, giggles and grins at the room. What a life this kid has, eh? As tough as this job is, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm doing my best to give me and Kevin a break. We're new at this. And I think we're doing quite well for a couple of first timers. We're talking. We're making time for each other every day. We don't go to sleep angry even after the most frustrating of days. We're going to do just fine, it's just going to take some getting used to.