For the love of Coffee

I love myself some coffee - make that a lot of coffee. So much coffee that my General Practioner doctor had expressed more concerned with my daily coffee intake than my smoking habit. A mug or two in the morning, about 4-6 16 oz cups of it at work and occasionally another cup at night is a bit excessive I suppose. I admit it. I'm a coffee junkie.

That was all pre-baby. When I kicked the smoking habit I increased my coffee habit. Instead of wasting 15 minutes out in the blazing Texas sun, I was able to go get another cup of coffee. Once I discovered I was with child (that sounds so weird) I curbed my coffee intake. I didn't take the Whole Foods approach and turn to teas, I didn't cut coffee out of my day - I just limited it. From the massive amounts I consumed before I was able to take it down to two cups a day. One in the morning and one around 6 in the evening to help me trudge through my last hour at work and the drive home. No, it didn't keep me awake. I was still zonked out on the couch by 8:30. Anyhoo, this is a snippet from one of my favorite Dave Barry columns. He shares my concern and love of coffee.

Specialty coffees are very popular these days, attracting millions of consumers, every single one of whom is standing in line ahead of me whenever I go to the coffee place at the airport to grab a quick cup on my way to catch a plane.

These consumers are always ordering mutant beverages with names like "mocha-almond-honey-vinaigrette lattespressacino," beverages that must be made one at a time via a lengthy and complex process involving approximately one coffee bean, three quarts of dairy products and what appears to be a small nuclear reactor.

Meanwhile, back in the line, there is growing impatience among those of us who just want a plain old cup of coffee so that our brains will start working and we can remember what our full names are and why we are catching an airplane.

We want to strike the lattespressacino people with our carry-on baggage and scream "Get out of our way, you trend geeks, and let us have our coffee!"

But of course we couldn't do anything that active until we've had our coffee.

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles.

And to that I say, "Amen".