It's not 1990 anymore

I don't like the dentist very much. Then again I don't know that many people that will admit it. I know several people that love going every six months to get their cleanings done but that doesn't really count. When you haven't been to the dentist in 16 years you begin to develop a small but persistent fear of what's going to happen if and when you make your way back to the office. We all know I quit smoking last year. We also know is that I love to drink coffee. And we all know that equals some staining to the enamel of teeth. My teeth aren't horribly yellow but to me it was getting old. Coupled with the fact that I haven't been able to use any whitening products since I've quit and the guilt over not going, I made myself an appointment on Thursday. Along with the mom complex like the 'moms don't smoke' idea, moms go to the dentist regularly. I promised to start flossing so that by the time I got to the dentist my gums would be used to the idea of stuff being wedged between them - besides food. Much to my horror and surprise, they booked me for today. That wasn't much prep time. They asked me why I was coming in and I was honest and said I hadn't been to a dentist in a long time and it was time. "We have people in all the time that haven't been in a couple of years, don't worry about it". I went home last week and flossed. My gums bled a little bit and my fingers bore the indentations from the floss being wrapped so tightly around them and held a lovely shade of blue. I'm obviously out of practice. Does floss expire? I flossed once more between Thursday night and Sunday. Last night, however, I flossed three times in a row. After I brushed my teeth twice. Nervous? You betcha. We started getting rain here (finally) which meant people started driving stupid. Turn on the wipers and turn off common sense. There were accidents left and right on my way in and being the considerate (scared) patient I called to tell them I was running late. I was hoping she was going to say they'd need to reschedule. Instead, when I told her I was 5 or 6 minutes away she said to come on. Ugh! I can't believe how much things have changed since the last time I went to the dentist. When I walked in, the office had a pleasant aroma. I was checking out the walls for the Glade Plug-ins but I couldn't see one. What I remember most about the dentist/orthodontist was the smell. It was worse, to me, than the hospital smell. I filled out the paperwork, showed her my insurance card and sat down to wait. I irritated the guy sitting next to me when I attempted to turn my phone on vibrate and instead hit the button to make the music play. Irritated him so much that he gave me a look when I turned to apologize and said, "whoops, that's not vibrate" and then proceeded to get up and sit in the chairs by the window. Hmph. I got called back and was asked very basic questions and then the dentist came over to take a preliminary poke at my teeth and ordered the xrays. I watched a video about how they would poke my gums to determine if I had periodontal disease, that measurements over 3mm indicated there was some trouble a-brewing. Would you believe they take xrays right there? You don't have to get up and go into a little closet to have it done. You just sit there, take out your nose ring (if you have one) and let them drape the apron over you, bite down on this metal chunk and zoooop - you're done. No more funny tasting pieces of cotton to bite down on. Oh, you know this already? I forgot - you've been to your dentist since we partied like it was 1999. The doc asked if I had wisdom teeth and I told him I didn't think so. Never saw any, felt any or was told they were in there. Thank goodness for the xray - we found I have 2 upper wisdom teeth but "since you're 30 (I'm 35)..35 and haven't had any issues, we aren't going to create any. If you had ones on the bottom, we'd take care of all 4." Good to know. He quizzed me on TMJ and I told him I've had problems of that in the past. I described how after chewing gum, eating chewy things or simply eating meat like steak, my jaw would lock. It would only open half-way and sometimes I'd have to apply pressure to get it to pop open fully. He asked what I did to fix it? I told him I did research on the internet, quit chewing gum and took measures not to have it flare up. Had I not mentioned it, he said he would've had no idea. I guess I'm a pretty good healer. I have to admit that I'm not too fond of the chair being tilted back so far that my feet are above my head. I guess that's to keep the drool pooling down the throat instead of over the lips and I confessed to him that I was quite spitty and drooly so he should take precaution. He told me I probably wasn't as spitty as I thought as he handed me a pair of sunglasses. (Again, new to me in the field of dentistry). I guess in case he chipped a huge piece of plaque off my tooth I couldn't sue him for eye damage. I don't know... The verdict? "You have remarkably good teeth for someone that hasn't been to the dentist in 13 years. You have 5 small cavities that are very minor but other than that you're in great shape." I go back in two weeks for my cleaning. I asked him if it will make my teeth whiter and he said, "...it'll help. We can talk about bleaching if you'd like." I would give my right pinky toe for a Zoom bleaching session. After the cleaning I'll head in for one side of cavities to get fixed and a few weeks later the other side. I'm not scared of the Novocaine needle, it's the polisher that weirds me out. I may need to take an extra Zoloft that day. Don't forget to floss tonight kiddies.