Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Hooray *yawn*

It's been two years since I had a drag of a cigarette. I can't find any reason to celebrate that milestone. It doesn't seem to matter as our life seems to be going down the shitter with something new happening every month. Please don't panic and call to make sure I'm not suicidal or losing it. I'm not, I'm just pissed off and I'm tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop. We sit with each other and wonder out loud when we're going to catch a break.

I really would like a cigarette. The urge has never completely gone away but the last two days have been to the extreme. I'm guessing it's because my brand of choice was also my dog's name. When he was a puppy I couldn't decide on a name for him. Being a poodle he needed to have something sounding a little pretentious. He named himself when he was continued to knock my pack of Winston's off the coffee table and eat the box.

Speaking of eating. Eating would be nice to do but I'm on a strict diet now that I've seen the innards of my dog being ripped apart by 6 vultures. That'll turn you off meat real quick. And most everything else, too.

As best we can figure, Winston joined the other dogs on a romp to the neighbors yard to pester the cows a little. Normally a few barks from the dogs and the cattle stomp and the dogs run away. Well, one of the cows was calving and we are guessing that Winston got scared and ran the wrong way and when he tried to get back the others wouldn't let him near the cow or the fence line. With a couple acres to roam on, the thunder, lightening and mad rain storm, he got to a road, just the wrong road. Poor thing is scared to death of storms so it breaks my heart that we couldn't find him. I just pray that the kill was immediate.

I miss him. I miss his cornchip smelling paws. I miss his paws hanging off the side of the couch cushion, touching my shoulder. I miss him laying in front of JT's bed when we go in to say goodnight. I missed him this morning when JT got out of bed, handed me my robe and looked to Winston's pillow where he'd normally shoo him up and out the door. I miss him poking his head in the doggie door to make sure we're still there.

He was the best little dog in my world.

3 comments:

Rinny said...

I miss him with you....and for all the things I will miss when our day comes. I say to you what my mother has said to me.....Winston led a wonderful life. That is what you must remember. The little guy wanted for nothing and was loved, and loved others. There isn't much more that any living being can ask.
We love you!
And congrats on two years.

Team Manager said...

I'm so sorry Jori! I know how deep the pain runs right now. I too, hope he went quickly and painlessly. It sounds like he was a great dog and you will have some wonderful stories to share with JT as he gets older.

the MILKY way (Chrissy) said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I am sad with you, and I didn't even know your little pal. I hope things begin looking up for you guys! You deserve it. Hugs from me and Emily.