Take 2 of these and call me in the morning

I went to the doctor today to get my tumor checked out. I don’t really have a tumor, at least that’s what they’re telling me, but it hurts and the chiropractor did nothing but take my money, the massage therapist bruised me and the acupuncturist left a needle in my leg. I wanted another opinion on my discomfort. For three months I have had increasing pain behind my left shoulder blade and it wraps around to the front of my chest. I had my ob/gyn doc check it out at my visit months ago and she said no breast lumps so keep an eye on it and visit my primary physician if needed. Well, needed. But I decided to try the chiropractor instead. On visit numero uno, the chiro determined that 2 of my ribs had somehow moved out of place and had become stuck. Instead of moving up and expanding when I breathe they just sit there and let the right side do all the work. Add to that a cold the entire month of September with a limited breathing capacity and stabbing pain and I was a mess. The three visits gave me three acupuncture treatments, three massages and two very limited adjustments. I am not impressed. So I went back to my primary physician whom I haven’t seen since sometime in 2004 or early 2005. Due to the time lapse I was deemed a new patient and filled out paperwork all over again. The neat thing was that the nurse lady that always seemed to take care of me when I went there remembered me when I called and greeted me by name when I got there today. Turns out we both had kids since we last saw each other – she had a little girl March 3, I had JT on March 23. Her daughter has hair down to the middle of her back, JT still has his mullet. That’s another post. My doctor was being held hostage by a crazy patient who was demanding to know what every little thing was. I heard the doctor explain, “that’s a sweat gland. You’re supposed to have that.” 10 minutes later another nurse asked if the other doctor could see me. “Yes, that would be fine”, I answered. “Better than waiting another 45 minutes”, was my internal response. After a brief run down of my last two years, my accident, my stress, my kid, my large chest, my sleeping arrangements, my pillows, mattress, etc it boiled down to a prescription of extra super duper Naproxen and a muscle relaxer. I told her I was still breast-feeding, albeit trying to wean, and she advised that I shouldn’t. Well, that brings taking JT off the boob real fast. That or he’s going to be extra sleepy during the day. Kidding! I spoke with not just one pharmacist but two and they both said the muscle relaxer is going to dry me up. I'm sad but I'm excited. Tonight was JT's last boob. I'm sure there'll be a sappy post in a few days. They took some x-rays of my chest and we’ll find out tomorrow if anything’s funky in there but I was eaves-dropping and believe I heard three of them say didn’t see anything. If popping pills doesn’t work then we look at physical therapy. If the physical therapy doesn’t work then we try something else. Really? Physical therapy? Seriously? I work a job trying to get people to meet a goal who are all stressed that they can’t finish their work, myself and other managers are all taking on extra duties to help meet goal, I moved, I have an 18 month old spaz, I have a husband who is daddy all day and needs a break when I get home after my 45 minute commute, I have bills and in-laws and some days can’t manage to get a shower. I guess I could have saved my co-pay; I’m stressed and I’m suffering from an acute case of life.