Part 3

So I went into the bathroom and peed.

And stared at the stick.

There was the control line and there was a faint second line.

If you want a baby, you're certain that faint line is enough to make it be positive.

Or if you're like me, you're quite certain that there's something wrong with the test or it's not really a line and my eyes are just playing tricks on me.

So now it's 8:58 am and what do I do with this information?

I ran through one hundred more scenarios until noon when I locked up the office and zipped down the road to the CVS pharmacy.

I rolled my eyes to the heavens and muttered, "8 bucks for one test?"

Once I was back in the office I couldn't pee.  Nor did I want to.  I didn't want to take another test and confirm the possibility of what was now settling in my brain.

HAVE. ANOTHER. BABY.

I chugged the rest of my now cold coffee and a Dixie cup full of water.  And waited.  Thanks to the crazy lady from Brooklyn that called to help stall the inevitable.

Unwrap, pee, wait 2 minutes.

But it doesn't take two minutes when you're probably pregnant and I watched as this test produced one pink line and then the pee moved across the rest of the test window and I held my breath.

Nothing.

This is good news!

And then the second line exploded and I said to no one in particular, "Oh no."

I didn't call Kevin and tell him.  I didn't even make my normal lunch call because I was so terrified I'd spill the beans before I saw him in person.

I sat and mulled this over in my brain the rest of the afternoon.  Thoughts of room arrangements, 2 car seats in a car, more diapers, breastfeeding, c-section or vbac, will Dr. Binford see me even though I don't have insurance, when does my insurance kick in, how many days off in PTO will I have earned by the time I need to use it, we have to go through name choosing again, I sold my maternity clothes, I just bought really nice bras...

When I got home I pulled the two tests out of my purse and headed up stairs.  He was sitting in his chair in the bedroom and I sat on the bed next to him.

"Guess who else is pregnant." And I pulled the tests from behind my back and laid them in my hands in front of him.

He looked at the test and said, "Not us."

In my mind I was wondering how he processed the fact that I might be holding someone else's pee sticks in my hand?

"Yes, us.  I took one this morning, didn't believe it and went and bought this one at lunch."

He had the same reaction I did and for that I was grateful.  Grateful that I wasn't the only one feeling sad and disappointed about this pregnancy.  Grateful that he wasn't all smiles and joy and happiness.  We both put our heads in our hands for a moment and then I stood up to throw the tests on the dresser.  I turned around and he grabbed me in a hug and told me that it was going to be okay.

He got in the shower and I went downstairs to play with JT.  When he came down ready to leave for work he grabbed me again and looked me in the eyes with a big smile and said, "So I guess we're having a baby, huh?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Because the other is a bad thing.."

"I could never..."

"Maybe have a girl this time?"

"well...whatever..."

"We had a great run with JT.  It's going to be fine.  We're going to be fine."

And we will.

Based on the 40 week calculation, we're due around November 19th.

P.S.  Now that all the parents know, I can spread the word.  Sort of.  It's still real early yet and I'm only sharing this here.  I figure if you're here, you're one of my closer friends and entitled to the Sneak Preview.  : )  Once we get to the doctor in a month or so I'll tell more people.

P.S.S.  JT said if it's a girl we should name her Bistery.